Wartime Blues
by JinxPrincess13
Summary: The Dead Men return from another mission minus one member. They expected that eventually one of them would be taken down, but it seems to have hit one member harder than any of the others. Further more, that member isn't entirely sure he's considered enough of a friend to be able to confide in his colleagues...


It could have been seen as a safe house, where they were now, or maybe a base of operations. The atmosphere was stale and awkward. It was a week or so since they had been called back from France. Some of the Dead Men were sleeping off fatigue or injuries. Ghastly wasn't sure where most of them were. He could see Anton. Anton was right in front of him trying to wipe a dirty cup clean with an even dirtier rag. He was only succeeding in pushing the dirt around between them. Ghastly let out a sigh and turned away as the other man gave up and drank straight from the tap. There was just silence for a few minutes more. He felt a shift on the seat as Anton sat beside him. More silence. "...Ghastly?"  
"Yeah?" His voice sounded a little distant. He didn't look at Anton as he spoke.  
"You okay?"  
"Are you?"  
"...that doesn't answer my question..."  
"I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?"  
"Why wouldn't you be at least a little...shaken?"  
"I'm fine, Anton."  
"You never did get to say a proper goodbye to François, did you?"  
"Shut up."  
"Do you miss her?"  
Now Ghastly turned to look at him, but this time Anton was the one looking away. "A little."  
"When someone's gone from your life, it kind of hurts."  
"A lot, yeah. Still, she's still there if I ever want to see her again."  
"Providing she doesn't end up dead."  
"Well, yeah..."  
"Guess it was worse when they killed your mother."  
Ghastly said nothing, holding himself back before he snapped at his sombre companion or even decided to hit him while he wasn't looking. "What's this about, Anton?"  
Anton looked over again, looking even more miserable than usual. "We're friends, right?"  
The scarred soldier frowned. "Of course. Anything make you think otherwise?"  
"No...no, no, I just...I am different...I'm quieter than the rest of you, we don't really talk much...I think the person I was closest to..."  
"Ah." His arms twitched as he went to hug Anton, but he stopped himself. Shudder wasn't much of a hugger after all. He chose to ignore what could have been a glare. He turned away and sighed. "Larrikin."  
"Larrikin." Shudder confirmed, tucking some of his long hair behind one ear.  
"We live long lives. We'll undergo a lot of similar pain...kind of puts break-up pain into perspective...as-"  
"I've never had a stable relationship."  
"Anyway, I guess you have to learn not to dwell on these things...find things to distract yourself..."  
"We'll have a lot to distract ourselves with."  
The conversation died out after that for a short while. "The pain never really goes away..." Ghastly mumbled after a while.  
"I've depressed you."  
"No...we do that to ourselves..." There was an awkward silence and Ghastly tensed up a little when Anton's arms wrapped themselves awkwardly around his broad shoulders. It was a strange and uncomfortable embrace and Shudder was keeping his distance. Heaving a sigh, the scarred soldier wrapped his arms around his awkward companion's waist and pulled him into a proper hug. After a moment, he realised Anton was crying. He didn't say or do anything in response. He just held him and let him cry on his shoulder.

Finally it seemed as though he had shed the last of his tears and he began to feel awkward again. He moved away and nodded slightly in thanks. "No problem." Ghastly replied quietly. "After all, what are friends for?"  
Anton smiled and nodded again. "Yeah, I guess..."  
Ghastly hesitated before replying. "If you need to talk, you can talk to me. I'll understand."  
"Thanks, but I think I'll be fine."  
"The offer's still there if you ever need it."  
"I know..."  
At that point, someone else walked in and the two soldiers pretended everything was normal. They both seemed to decide that no-one would ever know of what had happened just then. If anyone else ever knew, Anton would probably never live it down.

It was nice to know that he had friends in these people though, Anton thought as he drifted off to sleep that night. He had certainly considered them his friends most of the time, but up until then he hadn't been sure if they considered him their friend. It was just good to be assured of the security of having those people there for him when he needed them...


End file.
